That’s it for today
I dunno what had brought me to be here in the middle of nowhere thousand miles away from my home. Whatever it had been, I am obviously sure that everything has been defined before by Him. This is my choice eventhough sumtimes I feel strange with my own life, esp when I try to look back for everithin has gone through. It’s really unpredictable, the way I have to pass through until I reach the age of me now. Everything I got seems like a movie which u never been able to predict its ending. All have happened to me just based on the scenario of Him. I dunno about sumthing behind His scenario but I am definitely sure that it will b da’ best for me of all.
I am alone to be here cuz may be I’ve been getting used to be alone since long time ago. May be this is the best thing I have to do to run my life. May be this is the best place where Allah want me to be. Being far away for awhile from them who judge me to be sumthin or sumbudy like evil. Being far away from the people who always love and support me anytime. Being far away to make me stronger and get tougher. Cuz I am only the ordinary gal who’s trying to learn to be a tough woman. I am supposed to be tough to run my tough life, cuz I am living surronded by them who also tough. I am not a spoiled baby gal who can cry so easily that can make me look like a loser and get weaker. But the fact told me that I am only ordinary woman who also needs to cry. I am like others who need to pour out my emotion sumtimes. I need to let my tears fallen just because of sumthing I consider it deserved to be cried for. But, nomatter how hard the things I got, I am still supposed to be tough cuz I am a tough woman.
Sumtimes I dunno which one is really rite and which one is not, cuz sumtimes it’s obviously subjective. Sumtimes I want to ignore whateva others said but I am only ordinary human who have to live arround otherz, which immediately force me to care for whateva they said. They argue sumthing bcoz of sumthing, n I keep on searching what sumthin really is, till finally I just be able to conclude it by my own. I dont wanna cry but I need to cry. I am trying to be a tough woman with the way Iam bit by bit. I am what Iam, cuz I was just born to be the way I am now.
